I grew up telling people, "Hi, I'm John Styn!"
(NOTE: "Styn" rhymes with "Gin") To which they replied, "'Johnston'?...what's your first name?"

It took me 25 years to accept the Zen beauty of the name "John." Its like a wooden bowl and a spoon. The bare necessity of a name. Of course, By the time I was at peace with my shell of a name, I had already legally changed my middle name to "Halcyon" and printed up all my business cards, "Halcyon Styn."

I have leanned to accept that there 2 distinct elements of my personality, and my names embody both of them.

When I am serene and solitary, I am John. When I am bursting forth and bubbling, I am Halcyon.

Slowly, the two are getting to know one another.
*On a side note, I've always felt that I had a certain exclusive right to call a toilet a "John." Whereas other people are treading on shaky moral ground. Just like its cool for an African-American to use the word "nigga" or a Lesbian to use the word, "queer."

May 2, nineteen98