I had long disliked my name. John is so boring. I even wrote a story about for Prehensile Tales…I said (like prince) I was going to change my name to a symbol. ("Schwa")

Not long after that was published, while chest deep in casual drug use, I adopted the name, "Halcyon." Whenever I was out partying, I would introduce myself as Halcyon.

I began using the name Halcyon in my writing. My tre chic nom de plume. I legally changed my middle name to Halcyon. An aspect of my identity truly identified with this new name. I grew as Halcyon grew.

Only recently, I have discovered the aspect inside me that identifies with, "John."
"John" is so simple…so Zen. Like a single bowl and a wooden spoon…it is bare necessity. It is so pure that it is nearly transparent.

As I mature, I peacefully grow into my name. Halcyon and John are two sides of the same coin. I must strive to develop both Halcyon and John. Celebration and serenity. Triumph and oneness.

April 3, nineteen98